Praying Scriptue

wow.. it has been a while since I have posted on this thing... I doubt anyone still checks it, but here I go

My heart is hurting for a dear friend of mine... a person who I would consider my best friend. They have fallen so far from Jesus that they don't even see Him anymore. They have gone from having confidence and stability in who God is; to not even caring or wanting anything to do with Him. And so for the past couple weeks in my attempt to help them.."fix the problem"... I have totally lost sight of the fact that this is not my battle to be won... This is between my friend and God... and when someone tells you that they don't care about you anymore and they want you to leave them alone...even though it hurts like no other.. it is best to go, and not look back. I am not saying give up... but God has just been showing me that sometimes its ok just to PRAY!

And in my humaness I have been asking; God how can I pray for someone who hurt me so bad? I dont want too... I start to and I dont know what to say... I just start crying because of all the anger and frustration built up inside toward this person. But last night at Encounter whem Matt was speaking he refrenced a verse that is my prayer for my friend:

For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom his whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge— that you may be filled to the measure of all the fulness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen

Its amazes me to know that when I don't know what to say... God's Word though written years and years ago... can say it.

So it has been a while since my last blog... And in all honesty the past couple of weeks life has not been easy, and I have been ignoring Jesus, and what He wants from me.

I am just scared to take that step. I have been so convicted lately about unity in the body of Christ. There is a situation between a couple of people that I love dearly that is not resolved yet, and I feel guilty about it. But I have never been really open to one person, but I feel I need to talk to them and tell them how I feel.

Biscuet's message Sunday really hit home. He spoke on Peter, and how Jesus asked him to step out of the boat and walk on water! And he asked the question would you have gotten out of the boat? He related it back to how we as Christians are scared to take a stand, and how we miss opportunities. I dont want to miss this one. I have never been one to stand up for myself... I tend to have the mind set if no one is mad at me then its all good, but lately that has not been the case. I ihave no peace about a situatiion... and I hate walking into church trying to worship and focus on Jesus and feel the awedul tension! I cant take it anymore.

So.. Hopefully God will provide me the opportunity to talk with a particular person, and give me the courage for once in my life to tell them exactly what I feel and not what I think they want to hear.

Other then that life is good.... school is almost over... work is amazing! The NFL draft is this weekend! YAY! A little nervous for all the guys but oh well! Hope you all are doing amazing! Good luck on finals!

God has been speaking to me through this song so I thought I would share the lyrics with you!!

"Made to Worship"
By Chris Tomlin

Before the day, before the light
Before the world revolved around the sun
God on High, stepped down into time
and wrote the story of His love for everyone

He has filled our hearts with wonder
so that we will always remember

For you and I were made for worship
For you and I were called to love
For you and I are forgiven and free

When you and I embrace surrender
When you and I chose to believe
When you and I will see
Who we were ment to be

All we are, and all we have
Is a gift from God that we recieved
Brought to life, we open up our eyes
To see the majesty and glory of the King

Even the rocks cry out
Even the Heavens shout
The sound of His holiness
So let everyone sing out
Let every knee bow down
He is worthy of all our praise.

When I get bored at work I start to think... like right now..

During my quiet time this morning I was reading from the book Lord I want to know You, it was talking about God as our Lord. And it fit right in to everything I have been dealing with the last couple of days. If I am not in total submission to my Father then God is not the Lord of my life. I have to give everything to Him, and rely totally on Him.

Thats so hard for me to do. And even when it comes to submitting to authority I must trust that He knows what He is doing, and obey those over me. But letting is go is hard. I recieved an email today and the last line said, "in the words of Joe Dirt, 'Keep on keepin on'" Keep on keeping on... continue to fight for the joy that Satan is trying so hard to take away... Matt's talk at encounter has been so real lately..
" This JOY that I have the world didn't give it, and this world can't take it away"

I have been put in a situation where I must let go of someone who has been one of the biggest encouragers in my life. And it is so hard. It is indescribable the way it makes me feel. I don't know what to do, and it is like people don't want to understand me and where I am coming from. They see it has a quick fix solution, just pretend like they don't exist and everything will just disappear. But that is soo hard for me to do... just pretend that they are not there. Especially when we have the same friends, and they are becoming part of the same college ministry I am involved in. Am I suppose to change who I am just to obey others wishes? That just doesn't sound right to me. But those are the messages I am receiveing from those in control at the moment. I shouldn't go places or do things that this person is involved in, "because it just doesnt look good"! ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!! I was here first!

I honestly feel that Satan is attacking here. Well actually it is obvious. And some just don't see it. The body of Christ is about unity, community.. and Satan will do anything to keep that from happening. Honestly I can't take much more of all of this. I honestly just want to go crawl under a rock for a while... ok maybe a small island with 2 palm trees and a hammock would be better but still... I KNOW THAT MY GOD IS BIGGER THAN ALL OF THIS!! I just have to let go... and let Him be in control, and that means obeying those in charge. Submitting to authority one of the hardest things to do!

Oh! I would like to ask all of you to pray for Mike McLaughlin, he is one of the football players, and one of the most hard working respectable guys ever. He tore his ACL and will be having surgery this week! This is one of the hardest things for a player. Pray for healing, and for him to keep his focus on God!

Just thought I would share some lyrics with you!! I am not sure who sings this, but DJ sang them at Uprising one night... and I love it!!!

Come & listen,
Come to the waters edge all you who know & fear the Lord.
Come & listen,
Come to the waters edge all you who are thirsty, come.

Let me tell you what He has done for me.
What He has done for you, done for us.

Come & listen to what He has done,
Come & listen to what He has done.

Praise our God for He is good,
Praise our God for He is good,
Praise our God for He is good,
Praise our God for He is good.


P.S. NOT WHAT WE HAVE DONE, BUT WHAT HE HAS DONE!!

Not to us, but to Your name be the Glory!

I never knew that the title of my blog would become so real to me.

AMAZED that is what I am feeling toward my Father right now.

BROKENNESS -- fractured or shattered.... the destruction of confidence in self -- suffenciency

Tonight have just been searching for some scripture or something... dealing with this... and the Lord led me to 2 things...

Isaiah 63:9
In all their distrerss He too was distressed, and the angel of His presence saved them. In His love and mercy He redeemed them; He lifted them up & carried them all the days of old.

HE TO WAS DISTRESSED... are you kidding... when we are distressed over out own little problems... He too, the King of Kings, the Creator of the universe is distressed too! WOW!

I found an article on a website and it was saying that we have two options once we face brokenness... one is despair.. and the other is dependence on our Heavenly Father!!
Here is what it says:
To become dependable channels of God's power requires deeply learning two spiritual realities. The first is our own powerlessness: "By myself I can do nothing" (John 5:30). The second is God's power: "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength" (Phil. 4:13). When we embrace our own powerlessness and throw ourselves in dependence on God's power, only then can we experience for ourselves the great paradox Paul discovered: "When I am weak, then I am strong" (2 Cor. 12:10).

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This whole situation came crashing down on me tonight to the point I was literally praying/ yelling at God telling Him to take it all away that I can't take it anymore. But in my time with Him tonight I know that this part of the process... taking all that I have so that He can be #1..!

"May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus, so that with one heart and mouth you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ."
Romans 15:5

That is my hope for this whole situation. That what satan has tried to tear apart; through our Faithful God unity will come.. and the 2 individuals can stand next to each other (one day) and glorify their Father together as ONE!

MY AMAZING DGROUP GIRLS!!!

So you always here me talk about my Dgroup girls well here they are! They have been the biggest blessings to me over the past 2 years! It has been amazing to watch them grow in the walk with our Father!



There are pictures from the Winter Retreat 2006 Girls/Boys football game! And yes my girls kicked booty. And we did it with grace and style! Hey 2 years in a row and counting!! 21-14... the AU Football team did help their amazing coach out with some plays! :)



" I am a princess because my Father is the King of Kings!!!"








I went into the whole Dgroup thing thinking that I was going to teach them about my Heavenly Father. But I was wrong, I have learned so much about our Jesus from them. Their faith in Him is out of this wold. And is such a witness to me and others. When times get hard they run to Him. And when I mess up they offer encouragement, and continue to pour out their love and prayers for me. They have honestly been the biggest blessings ever! I am so excited about watching them grow into young women of God!

"A friend is one who strengthens you with prayers, blesses you with love and encourages you with hope."

"If you weep, I will weep with you. If you sing for joy the rest of us will lift our voices too. But no matter what you feel inside there’s no need to pretend. That’s the way it is in this circle of friends. In a circle of friends. We have one Father. In a circle of friends we share this prayer. That we’ll gather together no matter how the highway bends. I will not lose this circle of friends" Point of Grace

I keep hearing the phrase "time is a healer", and yes that may be true that with time things get easier, but time doesn't really heal anything. From my experience, and let me know if I am wrong, but when I don't deal with something up front, it gets pushed down farther and deeper to the point I refuse to bring it up to the surface again. Basically, I wont deal with it I will just pretend its not there.

I wish people could or would understand that true healing and forgiveness in this matter comes from the Lord Jesus. Through Him are we able to forgive one another, and be healed. I have just seen to many situations lately be left unresolved. I see Christians who need to step out on a limb and ask someone for forgiveness, and yet they don't. I am talking to myself here as well. It just really frustrates me!!

Anyway... I ask for prayers to bind Satan from a certain situation. I see his hand at work, and it disgustes me. I see him causing people to run away from their on Fathers presence, I see him causing people to treat people in ways that these people (who dont have a mean bone in their body) have never done before. He is causing confusion, and anger.

But then I see my Jesus, and His wonderful grace and mercy. I see His love being poured out in more ways then one. I see healing, and I see a bright future. I was thinking today about if I could go back, and change everything would I? And in all honesty the answer is NO! If I hadn't gone through this I would not be where I am right now. Flat down on my face with nothing to give at all; standing in the presence of my Father saying what now? I have nothing to give. And in all honesty it excites me, but at the same time I am scared and terrified. But the words of a dear friend come to mind. Jesus has me in His arms holding me like a baby! What comfort I find in that. It is the bottom, but you know there is only one way up from here. And I pray that as I am going up that His glory will be shown, and that people dont see me, but they see Him.

You know sometimes God has to take away everything you think you are, just so you can get a glimpse of who He is.

Sorry about all that... as you can tell I have alot on my mind! I love all of you dearly, and thank you for your prayers and encouragement!